I have a big ole NIV Study Bible that I have had for many, many years that I actually don’t read out of that often anymore. The other day I was nudged by the Spirit to pick it up and read out of it. As I picked it up a piece of folded paper fell out in my lap. As I went to stuff it back into my Bible I became curious as to what it was, so I opened it up and began to read. This is what it said…
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“I know you are weary. It’s okay, you can be weary. I am with you. You being weary does not mean that you are doing life wrong. I have called you to hard things. I can trust you with hard things. Peace Child. Let your soul rest in Me. I am not a harsh God. I have not called you beyond what you will be able to accomplish in Me. I love you. I love you. I am with you. I am.
Let your spirit, soul, and body, your heart, mind, and will rest in My love. You are hidden in My love. Let the truth of MY love and My canopy cover you, set your mind at rest. You can rest, Beloved. Rest in Me. Rest in MY love. You are not doing it wrong. I am not mad at you. I have not abandoned you, and never will. Yes, there are some places that I am calling you to change. Some places that I am calling you to risk. Some deeper places I’m calling you to trust – all because I am fully after your heart. I have more for you Beloved. More healing. More hope. I want to water the dry and parched places in you with My LIFE (Zoweh). This is not up to you. This is Mine. You are Mine. I have got you. Now breath. Let go. Entrust everything and everyone to me and let this time be a balm – a respite – for you soul. I long to minister to your weary places. Just give me your yes once again. Thank you My valiant one!” (Source Unknown)
As I put the piece of paper down I had a lump in my throat, a tear in my eye, and a surge hope and peace that was rushing to my heart.
You see, nearly three weeks ago I had surgery on my left knee to repair a torn Quadriceps Tendon. The surgeon told me that this particular injury was one of the worst to recover from because of how long it will take, and because I am not allowed to put weight on it, nor bend it for a month. That means that I have been stuck either in bed or my chair for the past nineteen days. I need crutches to get from one to the other, and I cannot do anything without the help of my wife. To make matters worse, I am struggling with a pulled groin muscle and a Sciatica Nerve that has been nearly as painful as my knee was when I came home from the surgery. I would say over all I have taken it in stride, and there certainly have been times when I have asked
Why such a long recovery? I have had to cancel a vacation to Maine that we have been planning for 6 months. I had to tell a young couple that had asked me to officiate their wedding that they needed to find someone else to cover for me (two weeks out). The spirits of discouragement and self-pity have been sniffing and scratching at the door of my heart. I have been angry more times than I would like to admit.
I have battled those spirits and those feelings pretty well, and I have had lots of practice surrendering this situation to Abba. Yet there are many times throughout the days that I cozy back up to self-pity and discouragement again and again. And then this piece of paper falls into my lap and as I read it I am blown away by how much I am loved. I am humbled by the gentleness of Gods words to me. I am relieved that He understands me and my situation, and by His kindness to tell me that it isn’t because I have done something wrong, that He isn’t upset with me, but that He is using this situation to allow me to grow, to risk, and to love and trust Him with this part of my story. I feel rescued and I am at piece, filled with gratitude that I am so deeply loved. So I will let go again, and entrust this situation to Him and to let this time, however long it is, be a balm, a respite for my soul. Yes, yes, yes, I am His Valiant one.